The cost of not doing what you love is… Continue reading
Pride and humility have been two elements that have had a tenuous a tug-of-war battle of sorts in my life. Strangely enough, they have experienced difficulty with their co-existence, much to my dismay.
In my life I have had a heavy servings of pride, but not unlike a child with a mandate to eat his vegetables; I have chosen to sneer, purse my lips and fold my arms at the prospect of walking in tandem with humility. “I don’t wanna!” Is what I seemed to say…
As time elapses I’ve been privy to a host of watershed moments that have been instrumental in the embrace of the realization; that I’m not as smart as I think.
My Grandmother is always apt to say “That sometimes we are so smart, that we’re stupid”. Knowing this is nothing short of liberating, but taking the next step towards implementation is fraught with risk.
On the contrary…
It is the pride in the lessons that humility have imparted that guides our steps and ensures; empowerment instead of failure.
The Pride and Humility balance is what I’ve been searching for….
I haven’t kept my balance on a consistent basis.
That is the true definition of the PH balance … Forget about your dandruff, Head & Shoulders won’t help you here, this goes deeper than that.
When I was a kid there was an album that my Father would always play on the record player that I resigned myself to being lost to the ages, I wasn’t any older than 4 years old, so it is safe to say that I hadn’t mastered the art of connecting a name to a song. But even at the tender age of 4, I knew what I liked.
I would often sing and bob my head in concert with it, because the infectious beat compelled me to obey… “Baa, Baa, Ba, De Da, Baa, Ba, Ba, De Da!” The chorus of the song never left me and I would often catch myself humming it throughout the years out of the blue, as it always brought a sense of comfort, simplicity and innocence that my childhood would often conjure.
Years later I would query my Father on the identity of the artist and the song, but he would meet my gaze with a puzzled look much to my dismay. Strangely enough it took over 30 years before I was able to rediscover that enduring refrain and the song in its entirety…
It came about innocently enough, during the confines of a late night writing marathon that I was endeavoring in a couple of weeks ago. I opened Spotify on a whim and let the Urban Knights, one of my favorite smooth jazz bands play on random. The rhythmic motion of my fingers gliding across the keypad came to a rapid stop as I heard that familiar musical refrain, my hippocampus was suddenly ablaze with memories, that up to a couple of minutes ago, were tucked away indiscriminately in my 1970 something file… “Baa, Baa, Ba, De Da, Baa, Ba, Ba, De Da!” I shuddered slightly as I was cognizant of the hair standing on the back of my neck, as if I was in the presence of a ghost…
I pushed back from the desk; letting me and the chair roll backwards a couple of feet, before I came to an abrupt stop. I tilted my head to the side and slowly mouthed the words, as if I was in a trance…
Once the initial surprise wore off, I made my way back to the computer and minimized the window so that I could ascertain the creator of the song that had been on the tip of my tongue for a large portion of my life…
The song was “Brazilica” the 5th track on Ramsey Lewis’s 1976 album Salongo.
All these years, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was Ramsey Lewis… The man, the legend…
I felt a grin spreading across my face as the memories came rushing back with concussive force as the child in me remembers staring at the album cover of the man with the curiously painted face wondering what it was all about.
Over 3 decades later and I find that I’m still trying to figure it out.
I’ve come to the tentative conclusion.
When I listen to music it consistently provides me with a sense of empowerment, while on other occasions it serves as a conduit that pulls me through time (I’ve touched on this before) , leaving me suspended in a daze of sorts with the overriding feeling that is pure and unfettered.
Music is timeless… How powerful is that?
Sometimes I fear that this book has a life of its own. At other times I have the sneaking suspicion that it would be content to remain nebulous and untold. But, this is a request that I am unable to honor.
I was awakened from a light sleep that was brought about from my frustration at the direction that my book is taking. It was the ringing of my phone next to me that loosened the tenuous grasp that the Sandman had on me.
I grumbled a groggy hello and before the voice on the other end could respond, the photo ID pasted on the screen revealed that it was my cousin.
A smile crept across my face as I sat up and we exchanged pleasantries. It always is good to hear from him, the abundant energy in his voice has been contagious ever since we were kids and I felt myself being infected as we started catching up on the travails in our respective lives.
When we got around to talking about me, he tendered a query that was simple enough on the surface…
“What do you want to do?”
It wasn’t as if I was being asked to formulate a solution to a quadratic equation with time elapsing. Actually, it was a fair question, it was succinct, clear cut and straight to the point.
But for some reason I hesitated, fearful to say what I knew to be true, because of the sheer audacity of it.
“I want to write”
There was no laughter, recoiling or condemnation hurled at me, apparently I needed hear myself say that, out loud.
My retort was met with only love and encouragement as with anything that I’ve shared with him throughout our lives. He has been an incubator of my aspirations in more ways than I realize.
Our conversation was nothing short of powerful as he provided me with clarity, when I was enveloped in a fog of indecision minutes prior.
Dare I say that I this was an “Aha” moment or one of those instances where God has saw fit to remind me that, he is…
After all my life has been full of these interactions.
God often makes his presence known through events, circumstances in our life or through the people in our life. I guess it was my cousin’s turn to be the instrument of divine intervention and as always the timing was impeccable.
I have been the recipient of many awards and accolades during my time on the Planet Earth, but there is nothing that I hold in higher esteem than someone harboring a belief that I am a “good” writer, knowing that something that I pounded out on my laptop has either empowered, elicited a chuckle or caused them to pause in reflection gives me a natural high.
Whenever I am on the receiving end of a compliment, I immediately feel undeserving, but appreciative in the same breath.
With that being said, when I was nominated for the Liebster Award. I was wholly ignorant of its existence this prior to my nomination but, it is an award from bloggers to bloggers who have recently started out and have less than 200 followers.
Outside making you blush, it is an outstanding way to drum up attention to your blog as well giving your propers to a fellow blogger… Who in my case is my esteemed fellow blogger: http://misadventuresdaringescape.wordpress.com/about/
1. Each nominee must link back to the person that nominated them.
2. Answer the ten questions given to you by the nominator.
3. Nominate 10 other bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
4. Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Let the nominees know you have nominated them by going to their website and notifying them.
Now… Let me delve into the questions that were posed to me and the 9 others than were tapped:
1. Why do you write?
I write because it is a way to channel the powerlessness that I feel into something viable. The realization that much is out of our realm of control is a sobering thought, but writing blows that thought process out of the water.This powerlessness vanishes when I am behind the keyboard. Writing is an expression of love for me.
2. If you could morph into an animal, what animal would you be and why?
A bird… A bird baby, I need to fly, because seeing the world from a different vantage point would be nothing short of powerful!
3. What do you do to make money?
I do business efficiency consulting.
4. Where is the coolest place you have visited and why did you like it so much?
Hawaii, I simmered on the big island. I enjoyed it because this was the one time in my life when I was truly at peace. I was there for a week and I smiled the ENTIRE time!
5. Do you have a favorite kind of music? Or artist? Which one(s)?
Jazz is my favorite, the music serves a theme song of sorts, depending on your mood. Sometimes words get in the way.
Now for the hard ones:
6. What is your opinion on the state of the world today? What are some of the biggest problems we face as humans?
The world is a scary place, I think we are taking gleeful pride in being dumb or doing just enough to get by. Reality TV is the backdrop to much of my angst.
The biggest problems in opinion is this faux concept of “race” and how it separates those would otherwise have so much more in common than they realize.
And the gap between the rich and the poor.
7. Do you believe in a higher power? Why or why not?
I definitely believe in the Almighty, I have seen too many indicators of divine intervention, divine presence in my life to think otherwise. I know!
8. If you were going to die today, next year, how would you spend this last year of your life?
Travel… And write, write and write some more. I’d finish up all of the book projects that I am sitting on. That way I could ensure that I would live forever… Written words never die!
9. What is the hardest thing you have ever done for someone else?
Letting them stew in their self destruction, simply because they were inclined to “do it” their way.
10. What truly makes you happy in your life right now? (In one sentence.)
Writing because it is the barrier to what would otherwise be a short path to insanity
Shun P’s.10 questions
1. Why do you write, it is because of passion?
2. What could you quit cold turkey, without a second thought?
3. What is your biggest pet peeve?
4. What is the most selfless think that you’ve ever done?
5. Do you hold grudges, why or why not?
6. How would your epitaph read?
7. What has been the biggest honor of your life?
8. If you had access to a time machine, what would you change?
9. What is your dream job and how far are you from realizing it?
10. What single person in your family has impacted you the most?
I choose the following bloggers: