“…. This hypocritical world, and the people in it …”
Tupac Shakur – Part Time Mutha taken from his 1991 debut album – 2Pacalypse Now
Years ago as the fog began to clear… I saw my own hypocrisy as a prison without bars – me being guilty of putting my faith in the wrong places.
I wrestled mightily with this realization and juxtaposed it with notions of duty and the ongoing war (whether we accept it or not) with the biggest hypocrites that we all know, OURSELVES.
Over the course of a year (2018 – 2019), one that happened to be the most tumultuous one of my existence to date. I had my personal Trinity forcibly removed from my life through natural progression.
Death – that inconvenient reminder that this place is not our home.
I’ve placed a good face on the waves of grief that have buffeted me since they joined the Ancients, but I am always reminded that love is a segue to immortality as I often feel their spirit, telling me in no uncertain terms that they aren’t far.
My Father – the man who told me that words would save my life – who always cautioned me that there was nothing more important than family.
My Bigmama – whose resilience always served to inspire me – it those words that she spoke that served as a spark to trace the winding roots of my Family – in an effort to understand where her strength came from.
My Great Uncle Calvin – was the person in my family, the Griot, who knew everyone and held a myriad of oral histories of the maternal line of my family and her offloaded much of what he knew to me.
This trinity guided my steps in my darkest moments – and during our last conversations, they imparted wisdom that was so consequential – that it was burned into to my spirit.
All of them…
Reminded me of the necessity of continuing the effort of finding our folks with my Great Uncle Calvin pointedly telling me during our last dialogue:
“Don’t stop finding our folks and telling our stories nephew, it is important. Shit I’ll come back and haunt your ass if I have to…”
We both cackled with laughter, but his humor belied the seriousness of my effort.
Over the course of over 6 years – everything that they told me that I would encounter would come to pass.
I was warned about the trials I would have to face – those spirits of sabotage, duplicity, petty jealousies and betrayal – that were always peppered with their urgency of staying me staying the course.
To be continued…
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