There has been a host of consistent interactions throughout my time on this planet. As of late it would seem that the eternal staring match that has ensued between me and the contemporary form “papyrus” has been something that I have been unable to dispense myself of.
Whether it has been in the form of newspapers that I read as a child; books procured via the library or my battles on college ruled notebook paper where I penned the writing assignments that my Father gave to me in concert with my normal school workload. I have stared, at times transfixed and always, helplessly entranced with the power that paper (papyrus) and the words that were emblazoned on them have held over me. My gaze may have strayed during the recalcitrant period of my teenage years, but that obsession eventually overtook me once again. Drawing me in… Compelling me to stare in wonderment, but, with the passage of time this staring match has continued, instead of subsiding.
This staring match features ME versus the screen of my laptop, in a monumental staring match for the ages, a heavyweight slugging match to be marveled! I command the keypad to do my bidding, but my fingers listlessly contend that life has dulled the connection that I thought was at the core of my being. To write, to harness the words that galloped throughout my brain, that begged to constructed into cohesive thoughts.
These fingers, this soul which grumbles about weariness that I have not begun to encounter would like to contend that life has gotten in the way… I cannot write… Because there is too much to do, it is the twisted logic of that masquerades as responsibility that would have me believe that there is no room for passion, for doing the one of the things I profess to love the most.
I would like to say that I have emerged victorious, but over the years I am unashamed to admit that I have been bruised, battered, knocked unconscious and put into a comatose state that has lasted anywhere from a couple of minutes to years on end. But I still hold my head up in pride when I bellow that I have lost this staring match many times over.
But, I will emerge. Because I must.
I will write and I will emerge victorious, because there is no other viable alternative.
Let Round 14,283 begin, I’m ready!
I’m in a staring match right now, which is why I’m using blog visits as a distraction from the work I should be accomplishing. Ughh! Staring matches can be torture sometimes. This post is reminding me to face the music and get back to work. Thanks for the reminder.
It is my pleasure!