It is always different when it is someone else.
Some faceless person, a name without a reference takes away the inhumanity of it all.
Until it’s not.
When I heard, hot tears flowed freely, it seemed like I couldn’t wipe them away fast enough as it felt like they were burning my face.
It is a hollow feeling of nothingness enveloping, providing me with company that I don’t want to keep.
I’m scared because I know that void that our family must contend with will be filled.
As far as what it will be filled with I am uncertain.
Can you hear me Cuz?
I feel hatred.
I want to welcome vengeance.
I want what they meted out to infect everyone that they love.
I’m better than them or am I the same?
We live on borrowed time – I know this, but these reminders of the fact don’t make it hurt any less.
I didn’t know where to go.
So here I sit, in a solace of sorts as my emotions go through a violent oscillation of sadness and anger.
I am you – and that part has been snatched away, dead.
Rest easy cousin – we will soldier on because that is the only option we have.
Now you’re part of the greatest fraternity – our ancestors, there is glory in that, but it hurts nonetheless.