There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I implored –
me to adore.
at the altar –
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Much of who I am had its beginnings in your bosom. I came of age under your tutelage, experiencing victories and defeats alike.
I hear your inflections in my voice when I speak.
I compare your siblings to you and none of them measures up to you. My experiences inform my steps as I claim you without fail. I am yours, unequivocally so.
Years ago… Had a shadowy visitor from the future told me that I would leave your embrace, it is safe to say that I would have rolled around on the ground, overcome with laughter.
As fate would have it… I was compelled to acquiesce to its will, if anything fate is nothing short of persuasive.
Thusly, I had to leave.
You provided me with an unshakable foundation.
So, it was only natural that I would seek to expand my horizons. Searching for that which escapes me is my mandate. Much to my dismay those whispers that I had been successful in drowning out, only seemed to grow in frequency as the years passed.
It was an epiphany of sorts as I realized that the Earth is a big place.
That being said, I want… No, I need you to understand.
I didn’t leave you… I didn’t betray the love that you unselfishly entrusted me with. My departure does not reflect any lack of affinity on my part, it was because of the adoration that I have for you that led me elsewhere.
It is the distance, my time apart from you that equips me with the faculties to appreciate you all the more.
Whenever I am in your presence you strengthen and inspire me, but there isn’t a simple answer that I can give to extinguish that burning question:
“Will we ever reunite on a permanent basis?”
I’m inclined to say no and I say it with a heavy heart. Because this pull, this calling that I am still trying to make sense of… Continues to pull me in competing directions. Perhaps when I find it or it finds me, this will have to be a topic for another day.
You are never far from my thoughts Chicago.
Love your son,