Silence often brings clarity that I liken to the truth rolling from the very lips of the Almighty.
In extracting and giving myself a reprieve from what drains me – I am realizing that clarity is becoming more comfortable with the concept of me.
The proverbial fog is starting to clear…
I am not a Bible-thumper by any stretch of the word and I don’t begrudge anyone who thumps, but in the same breath I am not naive to the role that divine intervention has played in my own existence.
By accepting the immutable fact that as a human being – having scumbag tendencies comes with the territory; but there is always room for improvement, if we acknowledge those lies that we tell to ourselves.
I am acutely aware of my faults, shortcomings and imperfections, but instead of obscuring them and walking around as if I am the most pristine person on the Earth –
I elect to call myself on my own bullshit – choosing to face it so that I can eventually move past them.
It is said that hindsight is 20/20 and in looking back I can say with certainty – that I liken my path to the prophet Jonah in the Bible in some ways. Like Jonah, I attempted; albeit unsuccessfully, to run from the path that I was laid for me. Through the years I heard the subtle calls to action and when opportunities presented themselves – I feigned ignorance.
I elected to run – because following through and seeing my call call to fruition would be hard and it runs counter to cowardice – which offered shortcuts in place of taking the road less traveled.
Settling provided me with a deceptive feeling of contentment, but I realize that settling will not suffice anymore. My soul hungers for greater things that settling simply cannot provide anymore.
I’ve been listening intently as of late and I have heard echoes of wisdom from the Elders in my family echo with a resounding thud. And I must say… It is music to my ears wisdom such as:
“Shit… You can’t sit around like a bump on a log, you’ve got to get off of your rump and do something!”
was a refrain that I heard my Grandmother and my Great Aunts consistently use, when referring to someone with questionable drive or work ethic, accordingly there aren’t many people in my family “sitting on their rump”. That being said, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been sitting on my rump for quite some time and that doesn’t sit well with me (no pun intended).
In the past two years I have had several shoulder taps from the Almighty, which I summarily discounted as mere happenstance only to have the taps grow in intensity. I had my final “come to Jesus moment” over a year ago when I was involved in a horrific accident where I emerged relatively unscathed with the “what I am supposed to do” mandate weighing heavily on my mind.
The reality of living on borrowed time is not a concept for me anymore, it is a reality that I take very seriously.
And it is this understanding that requires that I stay on my path so that said, I encourage you to enjoy the sights and listen, intently.
Amazing post. Truly.
Thank you Audrey, you flatter me!
I’m a “commenter” so bear with me, please. Aren’t you glad for the tap? And, in South Carolina old people love to say the “bump on a lump….” Phrase. Enjoyed this 🙂
Bump on a log, pardon me.
Twright, I appreciate your feedback, it is always a honor to put something to words that echoes with someone else! I am VERY thankful for the “tap” because without it, the alternative is “scary” at best! That old saying is very Southern in origin, as my Grandmother was originally from the Deep South before she made her way North.