There has been so much written about the travails that middle children have to endure, being lost in the proverbial shuffle of siblings and the like. Having lived it I didn’t need any empirical research to convince me of the struggles that I had to contend with. I often lashed out in a effort to draw attention to my plight.
Often we let the most crucial elements that comprise who we are go unsaid and after my close encounter with the Grim Reaper a couple of years ago I resolved that I would never subscribe to the cold shadow of silence.
I’ve often written about the pivotal roles that members of my family have had in supplying me with the wherewithal to persevere when the situations in my life would dictate that I acquiesce.
Often I felt as if I was placed in a box and accordingly ostracization began to set in, it was my contention that I was defective and if that feeling was allowed to fester I shudder to think the path that I could have slid down.
Fortunately for me my favorite cousin held me in a esteem that was unequaled and it supplied me with a unconditional faith that allowed me to keep balance in a tumultuous world. Having someone close to you in age in those formative years is nothing short of priceless, his accepting me without any concessions allowed me to take back some of the power that I abdicated to the world.
In retrospect being a middle child didn’t sting as much because although he was my cousin, our connection was more like that of brothers. It is powerful to have a resource that can lift you up without you having to lobby for it, to drop what they are doing and make you the center of their Universe.
Words can’t attest to the impact that he’s had on me, my life has been saved my life by his being in it. When no one else harbored a belief in what I could render he was one of the few people who could enable me to see it.
Thank you for being my sounding board, my conscience, my launching pad throughout my life and never leaving my side, because we ride together or not at all.
I love you Cuz, Happy Birthday!